Christmas 2009

Here are some photos of our first Christmas with miss Kennedy.

Chilling with Daddy before opening presents.

Excited!

Her stocking.

I am looking a little rough. Its been a long time since I was up that early to open presents.

A card that Aaron "helped" Kennedy make for me! Going in the scrap book for sure!


OSU doll from Grandpa and Gran!

Bouncer from Mom and Dad!

Books!

Her pink IKEA hippo!

Worn our after all the excitement.

It was just the three of us for Christmas this year. We missed our families alot but it was nice not to have to worry about "hosting". We stayed in our PJ's all day long. Kennedy had a cute pair of Christmas PJ's but she proceeded to pee on them the night before so she is in her flower non-festive PJ's. But she is still cute!

Babys First Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas Holiday with out little pumpkin bear! I forgot my camera today but there will be lots of photos to follow!

Date Night

My husband standing next to the big ol' Christmas tree that M casino and hotel.


My wonderful glass of wine at dinner.


The cute little cafe where we dined.


Me; happy to be on a date with my love.


Pre-date pic (thanks Mom).


The beautiful Christmas tree. The largest in the country.


Me and the tree!



We finally got to go on a date when my mom was in town. There was kissing, cuddling, dancing under the stars next to the ginormous Christmas tree, desert, wine and fun. All crammed into two short hours so we could get home to put Kennedy to bed.

Doing the Most Good

I was out doing some Christmas shopping/work errands today at lunch. I had to run into Wal-Mart really quickly to get a couple of gifts for some volunteers. As I entered the store two children sitting in their cart came out of the store singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. While other shoppers were either unfazed or annoyed I found this quite humorous. I remember the joy of being a child and not caring and or realizing the social norm for singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs! Then on my way out I saw the holiday staple Salvation Army bell ringer. Above his little bucket was a sign that read "Doing the most good". Working for a non-profit my first instinct was to be defensive about that sign. I happen to know there are alot of other charities that do alot of good thing for people (insert pompous attitude tone). Of course this dialogue was occurring inside my head, as most of my sassy comments and conversations tend to do. But right behind me was a mom with a little girl, probably 5 or 6 years old. The mom stopped the little girl and asked her is she wanted to give money to help people that didn't have any money. And that when I realized that in fact that giving spirit, especially in these economic times, is "Doing the most good". As a parent I am beginning to understand the weight and responsibility of raising a moral, and kind child. So the very fact that is mother was using a "teachable moment" to help others gives me hope that the world is not doomed to be overrun by selfish, money hungry future generations. So tis' the season to be giving and generous. Drop your extra change in the little red bucket, because giving to others in need is indeed "Doing the most good".

On another note, here is a cute picture of my little lady!

Love and Motherhood

Words fail me when I try to describe how much I love my Kennedy Grace. Pardon the cheesy saying, but she is the light of my life. She makes me happy when I have had a rough day at work or I am not feeling so happy about living in Vegas. There are so many things that she does that melts my heart. I will list just a few;

-When I go in to get her in the morning, before her eyes are even open, I say "good morning sunshine" and her little face breaks into a huge smile. (melting)
-Every time I look at her these days she smiles so big. I know understand the saying "grinning from ear to ear".
-She talks to me on the way home from her school. She will babble and I will respond or ask her questions. Bonding!
-When I am burping her at night right before I lay her down and she has that milk drunk (official term, I promise) look on her face and her eyes are heavy with impending sleep and she lays that little head on my shoulder and goes limp from exhaustion.I love it. It means that she is totally at peace being in my arms.
-The little noises and cry's she makes when she is so tired but refuses to go to sleep. They are funny because I know that she is dry, fed and just needs to nap. She will lay in my arms, eyes closed and her pacifier hanging out like a cigar and wine because she is so sleepy.

The love I have for her is unmatched. I love everything about her sweet little face. It pains me to see her growing so quickly, I am not ready to have her be a big girl quite yet.! When are done reading to her at night Aaron and I pray over and for her. I want her to be happy, healthy and safe. Writing this now brings tears to my eyes because I love her so much and miss her terribly during the day. She is my little pumkin pie love muffin!

Roots and Wings

We just took Kennedy to Oklahoma for the first time. I was throwing two wedding showers for my sister and of course I wanted my family to come home with me. Kennedy did great on the plane. She slept the whole time both ways. Luckily both flights were non-stop. When we go home in November we will not be so lucky with the non-stop flights! It was great to see my mom and sisters. It is always bittersweet to go back to Oklahoma. When I am in Vegas I tell myself that I am okay and I don't really miss OK that much. But as soon as my feet hit the Oklahoma ground I know I am home. It is REALLY hard to be away from family and it is super duper hard now that Kennedy is here! Aaron and I know there is a reason we moved and a reason we are in Vegas. We are just trying to figure out what that reason is and why God moved us to move. We want to get back closer to home eventually. We are working hard to make that a possibility.

Where did September go?

The title of this blog describes exactly how I felt this morning when I realized how fast September flew by. This morning as I was getting ready for work I was reviewing the last month. The good the bad and the ugly. I was also taking notes about everything I needed to get done this week. I am a huge list person. I make to-do lists, grocery lists, budget lists, you name it I can make a list for it. The days seem to fly by and the nights are but a blink (sometimes literally if Kennedy doesn't sleep well). At the beginning of September I remember thinking that I had a birthday to celebrate, a large event at work to prepare for, numerous conference calls, and a month to prepare for two showers I am throwing for my baby sister. Now as I sit at my desk assessing my October planner I see that October is already full! Personal shower and kitchen and bath shower for Lacy, a good friends birthday, our 4 year anniversary, a baby shower, and multiple things at work. Having showers in Oklahoma means flying. I am nervous about flying with Kennedy, but luckily I have a wonderful husband that keeps me calm and sane(for the most part) and he will be accompanying us home to Oklahoma! I love being a mom and this past month Kennedy's personality has really started to show. She loves to smile and is starting to giggle. She loves to cuddle and is a really active sleeper.

Busy Busy Busy

Here is a typical day in the life!!

A quick side note, I don't actually know when my days end and begin anymore! Ever since Kennedy arrived on the scene my days, staring on July 12th, have been one constant movement. There has really been no end and no beginning. I guess that is why time flies so fast when you become a parent. Because "time" as you knew it before does not exist anymore!

I will start at the beginning (whatever the beginning really means)

3:00a.m-5:30 anytime between these hours my darling girl will stir and oh so gently request to be fed!

5:45-6:00- Shower

6:00-6:05 Quickly blow dry hair

6:05-6:10 Straighten hair
6:11 Put hair in ponytail ( questioning why I took the time to straighten my hair)
6:15-7:00 Eat breakfast and if I am lucky I get to do this sitting down and one complete act! Get Kennedy's stuff ready for school, pack lunch, pack breast pump.
7:00-7:30 Change diapers, give hugs and kisses to the baby and the husband and send them off.
7:32 Grab coffee and head to work.
8:00-4:00 Work, pump, watch Kennedy on the cameras at school, work, pump, etc.
4:00-4:25 Smile the whole way to Kennedy's school thinking about hugging her little body.
4:30 Bliss! Seeing my little girl, giving her kisses and hopefully getting a smile from her!
4:30-5:00 Drive home in crazy Las Vegas traffic.
5:00-5:30 Feed and love on my baby girl.
5:30-6:00 Start dinner and wait for hubby to get home.
6:00-8:00 Hang with the family, do dishes, clean up house, pack lunch for next day, and bath for baby girl if necessary.
8:00-8:30 Feed and put baby down.
8:30-1:00 (If I am lucky) Baby girl sleeps and so does mommy!

Then it starts all over again the next day, or next shift as I see it!

Well its 12:15 and that means its time for me to go pump. Trying to keep breast milk supplied while bringing home the bread for the family!!!

The Smell of Rain

When I woke up this morning I did so in a panic. I did not hear anything, it was quiet. I quickly looked next to the bed and did not see my daughter. Then I rolled over and did not see my husband. I then looked at the clock it read 8:45. My Darling Husband had changed Kennedy's diaper around 6:00 and had taken her downstairs so I could sleep in. That was a nice surprise and something I desperately needed. When I came downstairs I saw that it was overcast. This is not completely foreign to Las Vegas but something that doesn't happen very often. And when it does it rarely produces rain. But to my great surprise when I was running errands this morning I actually got sprinkled on! It was so nice. My fellow Las Vegans were running around trying to get out of the rain while I slowed my pace so I could enjoy the brief moments of cool rain. Don't get me wrong, I love the sun and for eight months of the year we have beautiful weather. But sometimes I enjoy a nice cloudy day, a day that allows me to be lazy and comfy at home with my family. Living in a place where it doesn't rain that often I treasure the moments when I can stop and feel the drops on my skin and smell the musty hints of humidity.

Sad Sad Day

Here are some pictures of my little ladybug! Today I am taking stuff to Kennedy's "School" to get her ready to go on Monday. I am calling it school, instead of daycare, because I like the way it sounds. Denial? Maybe but it makes me feel better. I am taking her diaper bag with all of her goodies and a mobile for her crib. It is very sad and I am having a VERY VERY HARD TIME coming to grips with the fact that on Monday morning at 8 a.m. I will have to leave my daughter in someone elses hands and trust them to care for her and love her until I can get her every day at 5:00. Its heartbreaking. I am prepared to cry like a baby, if you will, on Monday and probably every day following that week. These past six weeks have gone by way to quickly and I am trying to soak up every moment with her.

What to do? Help.

As I type this very post my darling husband is upstairs trying to quiet and soothe our 3 week old baby girl. The past couple of days it seems she has been plagued with gas. Therefore she will eat and then an hour later be inconsolable and hungry again because she has taken in to much air and not enough milk. I am still learning what her cries mean and how to meet her needs. It is so hard to hear her scream and cry and not be exactly sure how to make it better. Its exhausting and draining and heartbreaking. If any moms have any suggestions on how to make sure baby is getting a good latch and how to help with the gas issues I welcome the comments. We are using mylicon when we feed her but it doesn't seem to be helping much. Help!!!!

Sheeesh!

That is the only appropriate word I can muster this morning to describe how I am feeling. This word is a two edged sword this morning. Sheesh being good in the fact that I fall more and more in love with my daughter every single second. I am captivated by her. Her tiny little features, her sneezes and noises, her precious face. And Sheesh being bad in the fact that this little girl will not sleep. She is a fighter that is for sure. She will be exhausted, plum tuckered out if you will, and she will still not sleep. For the past two nights I will feed her and then lay her down and no more than 10 minutes later she has kicked herself out of her swaddle and is squirming all over her crib. The only way she will get some sort of sleep is to sleep on mine or Aaron's chest. Great for her, uncomfortable at best for us. I think last night she slept all of two hours in her crib. But earlier this week she was sleeping for four and five hours straight at night. Now we are lucky to get two uninterrupted hours. As I type right now she is in her swing and I have my ipod playing some fun music so I can sing to her. But she is getting fussy now. When she eventually naps maybe I can post some pictures. Here's hoping!

Kennedy Grace Krueger

Kennedy Grace Krueger was born July 12th at 3:20 in the afternoon. She was 8lbs and 20 inches long. She is perfect and gorgeous and I am completely in love with this little lady. I went to the hospital Sunday morning around 2:30 because my contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes. When we got there they put me in triage for an hour to monitor the baby and make sure I could be admitted to delivery. I was taken to my delivery room around 4. I was given the epidural around 5 and my water broke at 5:20. I was able to rest until around 12:00. I pushed for 3 hours and finally she was born. We stayed two nights in the hospital. We got home on Tuesday afternoon and have been adjusting to life with a newborn ever since. My mom arrived Wednesday morning and has been a huge help. Being a new mom is overwhelming and tiring and rewarding and the most incredible thing all wrapped into one big cute bundle of love. Here are some photos.

D Day!!!

Well tomorrow is the day that is supposed to be the day! Kennedy's due date is tomorrow. I really don't feel like she will coming out tomorrow. But part of me is okay with that. Last night I broke down and had a moment where I was totally freaked out by the whole birthing process. Not the pain, and not so much the birth but the afterbirth. I am terrified of bleeding to death or getting blood clots or something horrible like that. I know, and those who know me, I am a hypochondriac. I have convinced myself I have cancer for body parts I as a female don't have! I want to be a mom so bad. To do all the things for my daughter that I didn't get to do growing up with a single mom and two sisters. I want to cuddle and love my daughter to pieces. I want to see Aaron be the incredible dad I know he is going to be. I just have to calm myself down and relax. I just get really scared sometimes and its the whole unknown and uncontrollable parts that really send me for a loop. I just have to have faith and trust that everything will go smoothly. I just had a moment last night while I was eating burritos with my husband! Every morning I wake up and tell myself I am one day closer to having a completely different reality then today! I cant wait. I dream about little babies every night. I was watching 16 and pregnant the other day and started crying when this teenager (a baby herself) gave birth to a little girl. I just kept thinking that would be me very soon! So here is to a new mother freaking about birth, like thats never happend, and to a control freak learning to let go.

3 Days and Counting

If you would have asked me earlier today I would have told you I was going to be a millionaire. I was going to be on the cover of every magazine, including the trashy ones we are read secretly in the grocery store line! Because I would have sworn this child was never coming out. Last week she was very stubborn at the doctors office. She is already taking after me! Scary. But today the doctor said I am progressing nicely and that if I have not had her by next Wednesday she will induce me that evening. That works out great because my mother comes in Wednesday morning. Being induced is not ideal but at least my mom will be here for her birth! So good news, this baby is gonna come out. Bad news, I am still really uncomfortable. I woke up twice last night and had to chew some tums due to the horrible heart burn. Then every other hour I woke up and had to readjust which led to me having to pee. Ohh the joys of pregnancy. I really have enjoyed my pregnancy up until these last three weeks. But I am now officially ready for her to get here! Even if it hurts, which I know it will! Here are some photos. Some were taken of me last Friday at 39 weeks and the others (red dress) were of my on the 4th of July, hoping for a firecracker baby!

4 Days and Counting!

Well Kennedy's due date is 4 days away! She is not showing any signs that she is coming out anytime soon. She is very comfortable in her Mommy's belly right now. She is still sitting very high and is still moving around alot. Last week at the doctors appointment the doctor had to chase her around my belly to get a heart beat. She is a mover and shaker! I have some photos of my belly and her nursery that I promise to post asap. I have been continuing to nest. Cleaning out the garage in 105 degree heat on Saturday! Making casseroles to freeze for after she arrives, and making sure I have my bag and Aaron's bag packed for the hospital! I am so anxious to meet her and see what she looks like. My mom arrives next Wednesday and a part of me hopes she is here for the birth but another part of me hopes I don't have to wait that long! Pics to be posted soon.

30 years young and facing reality.

Yesterday was my darling husbands 30th birthday! He is such a wonderful person and he does not like alot of attention being drawn to himself. Last weekend when his parents were in town we celebrated with some good friends. But last night he just wanted to watch a movie and eat pizza and cuddle. But before he got home I went to the store and bought a mini-birthday cake and lit some candles and scattered some 30 confetti all over our table. I just wanted to do something special but small. For his birthday my whole family pitched in and today we are going to go pick out a video camera. But I already promised my mother she will not have to sit through a replay of the birth! The camera is for after the birth when Kennedy is clean and out of my belly completely!!!!

On Thursday I received an email at work. It was letting everyone know in our division, the 12 most western states excluding Hawaii and California, that there will be layoffs this coming Tuesday. So on Tuesday morning they are asking everyone to stay home and if you have lost your job you will receive a phone call letting you know. I feel that my job is safe, mainly because I run programs and work directly with patients and volunteers. But you never know! So when I got this news of course I started to worry. I am about to have a baby and things would be a lot more complicated and stressful if I did not have a job. So I texted my mom and asked her how much extra room she had at her house because she might have 3 extra roommates really soon! I know its out of my hands and honestly if I lost my job it would be a blessing in disguise because it would mean that we could get closer to home a lot sooner. We have been talking about moving back within the next 18 months. We are not set on moving back to Oklahoma, we wouldn't mind Texas, Colorado, Missouri, or even Tennessee. But that is completely out of our hands. Its not that Vegas is a horrible place to live. We are so close to California and Utah and so many cool things you have to drive hours to access in Oklahoma. The weather is perfect, even now in June. We live ina beautiful home and we have made some really great friends. But there is NO sense of community here. There are small pockets but they are so spotty they are almost impossible to find. People come to Vegas to strike it rich or to play. People dont come to Vegas to raise families and meet lots of great people. And we both miss our families so much. I am so close to my mom and sisters and I want Kennedy to know her Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. Its just not the place for us to raise a family. But I will say it has been the best thing for Aaron and I's marriage. We have grown and challenged and stretched more than we would have it we would have stayed where it was "comfortable" in Oklahoma.

I know this is a long post but this past week has been pretty busy. I am know 38 weeks pregnant and counting and I will have Aaron take some pictures today and I will post some of my belly. I am sure it seems like baby stuff is all I write about so it was nice to be able to focus on something else. Because there will be lots of baby stuff after she is born!

Nesting, baking and loving!!

Aaron and I are going to purchase a small freezer to go in our garage mainly because our freezer is tiny. But with the new addition shortly on her way we want to make sure we have enough room for all things that come with having a baby and being on maternity leave. Next weekend is our true and final free weekend before Kennedy arrives, we will do something on the 4th if she is not here by then. And I want to spend the weekend making yummy casseroles, breads and goodies to freeze so when she arrives I don't have to stress about meals. Soooo, would you please post your favorite recipes for breads, casseroles or dishes that would freeze well so I can make them!!! I love to try new and fun recipes so I am open for anything!!!

I am 37 weeks today and I cant wait. I am so ready for this little girl to be here so I can love on her and kiss her and snuggle with her. And as Fathers Day approaches I just keep thinking how great Aaron is going to be as a dad. Most of you know I didn't have a father around growing up and I missed out on alot but this little lady will have the best dad in the world! I will post pics of Aaron's father-to-be gift. Its a good one!

Baby K's Room

Here are some more photos of the baby's room. I just got done attempting to shave my legs. This is not an easy task when you are 9 months pregnant!!