It has been a rough week. I work for the American Cancer Society and I absolutely love my job. I get to train and recruit volunteers to work in our Cancer Resource Centers as well as run two programs that are beneficial and helpful to cancer patients. Most days I understand that cancer is just a part of the job and I am not saying I am desensitized but I know it comes with the territory. But this past week has been hard. I found out a friend from college was diagnosed with leukemia, a co-workers mother was diagnosed with glioblastoma, another co-workers mother has brain cancer. I have been thinking alot lately about how short life is and how quickly it can change. I am almost 4 months pregnant and I cant imagine not being here for my child. And the thought of Aaron getting cancer terrifies me. I know these are times I have to trust in the Lord and know that his plans are greater than my own. But its really hard. I don't want to miss anything. I have a hemangioma, a benign tumor in my brain. I have had it since childbirth but did not know about it until 2007. I have to go in on March 16th to meet with a neurosurgeon to discuss this and my birthing options. They can rupture during labor. So I am going to discuss the options. I will probably have to have another MRI as well. I am just scared that they might find something else or scratch the whole thing and just tell me I have brain cancer. I know it may sound silly but I am worry wart and when I have free time to think my brain automatically wanders to these things. I just feel like I have so much to live for and I don't want to miss anything. I know this is a depressing post but its how I feel right now. And being away from my family and friends in Oklahoma is really hard in times like these.
I am 15 weeks along!Our baby is about the size of a pear. He or she is moving around in my uterus, I wont be able to feel it for several more weeks. The eyebrows are beginning to grow and the hair on the head may be sprouting! I thought this was a cute game, one book suggests, to play with my baby. Even though the eyelids are fused shut the baby can still react to bright light. The book says to shine a flashlight up to my belly. The baby is likely to move away from the light, even though I cant feel it yet its still fun to imagine our little one swimming around in there.
I am about childcare. We don't know if I am going to stay home or go back to work. We are really torn. This is a really tough decision.
I am so glad this its the weekend. This has been such a crazy week at work. I love being busy at work but this week wore me out. I am coming down with a cold so I will be happy for a three day weekend. I am working a health fair tomorrow so I can take off early next Friday to go to Brian Head Utah. Aaron and a group of the agents are going skiing. We finally near the slopes and I am pregnant and cant ski! I am pretty sad about not being able to ski but I am super excited because I am pregnant! I am going to start taking pictures of my belly, there is not much there yet but I am sure there will be something soon. I will 15 weeks tomorrow!
Aaron and I are so excited to be expecting our first child. We have decided to do cloth diapers. We want to be responsible and respectful of the earth while providing good quality products for our child. I am also looking at doing glass baby bottles instead of plastic. I was looking at car seats and strollers today. How does one choose the safest product. I know there are star ratings but how do I know what or who to trust. There are so many companies and products it will be a challenge to pick which ones we go with. I am not complaining in the least it is just overwhelming for a mom-to-be!!! I am excited about coming home in April. That is only chance I will get to see alot of my friends and family before I have the baby! I am showing just a tad. Not really enough to notice much. I am ready for a belly (I think)! I know I will be ready to have a flat belly again as soon as the baby is born but I just want to "look the part"! We also just found out that our dear friends Will and Rebecca are pregnant. This is so much fun and such a blessing. She is only 5 weeks along but it is so nice to have a friend that I spend alot of time with going through the same things. I love being a mom, even though my baby has not been born yet. I love the idea of having someone to love, cuddle, read to, play with and watch develop. I cant wait. Aaron's parents bought us a crib and changing table for Christmas. It arrived yesterday. We will not be setting it up or decorating until we know the sex of the baby. I cant wait. I am so excited to start that part of journey!
Yesterday was such a wonderful departure from our "normal" weekend ritual. We went to church online at www.lifechurch.tv. Then we went and got breakfast at one of our favorite spots then I came home and started a 15 bean soup to cooking! We watched Made of Honor and then we ate lunch and discussed our goals for 2009. It was so nice to sit down and talk about our professional goals, our personal goals and our goals as a couple. Then we just lounged around and spent quality time together. It was just a nice relaxing day! I wish I had more of them! But now its back to work and back to a routine!
Well the holidays are over and all of our guests have gone home! It was alot of fun hosting Aaron's parents and my youngest sister Lacy for Christmas. But it was also exhausting!!! I am not used to having to cook and entertain 3 extra people. I guess they are just getting me ready for when baby arrives. We went to the Doctor on the 31st. She used her Doppler(spelling) to hear the baby's heart beat. It was going to so fast. It was so cool. I got tears in my eyes, such a beautiful thing. We find out the sex of the baby on March 2nd. My mom is actually going to be here visiting at the time so she will get to go with us. Still no baby belly just tired and crazy food cravings. I had a dream last night about Fruity Pebbles so I woke up this morning wanting those for breakfast. Needless to say we don't have them on hand at home so I had to settle with something else! Aaron and I are so excited to start this new year and cant believe that in several months we will have a new addtition to our family. It still has not completely sunk in yet that we are having a baby!
Our friend Janzen was in town last night. It was so good to see him. He was one of Aaron's roommates and a groomsman in our wedding. It is always fun to see Aaron get together with his good friends, they alwasy quote movies and act goofy.
I will write more soon and hopefully I can learn how to master posting pictures and getting better at this whole "bloggig" thing!
Aaron and I moved to Las Vegas almost two years ago. It has been an adventure learning and living in a new place. We miss our family alot but we know that one day we will be back closer to them. We love spending time as a family, cuddling with Kennedy Grace and loving on our two dogs. We love Jesus and we are continually being humbled by how wonderful He is. We are constantly experiencing the grace of God in this whole experience.