Love and Motherhood

Words fail me when I try to describe how much I love my Kennedy Grace. Pardon the cheesy saying, but she is the light of my life. She makes me happy when I have had a rough day at work or I am not feeling so happy about living in Vegas. There are so many things that she does that melts my heart. I will list just a few;

-When I go in to get her in the morning, before her eyes are even open, I say "good morning sunshine" and her little face breaks into a huge smile. (melting)
-Every time I look at her these days she smiles so big. I know understand the saying "grinning from ear to ear".
-She talks to me on the way home from her school. She will babble and I will respond or ask her questions. Bonding!
-When I am burping her at night right before I lay her down and she has that milk drunk (official term, I promise) look on her face and her eyes are heavy with impending sleep and she lays that little head on my shoulder and goes limp from exhaustion.I love it. It means that she is totally at peace being in my arms.
-The little noises and cry's she makes when she is so tired but refuses to go to sleep. They are funny because I know that she is dry, fed and just needs to nap. She will lay in my arms, eyes closed and her pacifier hanging out like a cigar and wine because she is so sleepy.

The love I have for her is unmatched. I love everything about her sweet little face. It pains me to see her growing so quickly, I am not ready to have her be a big girl quite yet.! When are done reading to her at night Aaron and I pray over and for her. I want her to be happy, healthy and safe. Writing this now brings tears to my eyes because I love her so much and miss her terribly during the day. She is my little pumkin pie love muffin!

Roots and Wings

We just took Kennedy to Oklahoma for the first time. I was throwing two wedding showers for my sister and of course I wanted my family to come home with me. Kennedy did great on the plane. She slept the whole time both ways. Luckily both flights were non-stop. When we go home in November we will not be so lucky with the non-stop flights! It was great to see my mom and sisters. It is always bittersweet to go back to Oklahoma. When I am in Vegas I tell myself that I am okay and I don't really miss OK that much. But as soon as my feet hit the Oklahoma ground I know I am home. It is REALLY hard to be away from family and it is super duper hard now that Kennedy is here! Aaron and I know there is a reason we moved and a reason we are in Vegas. We are just trying to figure out what that reason is and why God moved us to move. We want to get back closer to home eventually. We are working hard to make that a possibility.

Where did September go?

The title of this blog describes exactly how I felt this morning when I realized how fast September flew by. This morning as I was getting ready for work I was reviewing the last month. The good the bad and the ugly. I was also taking notes about everything I needed to get done this week. I am a huge list person. I make to-do lists, grocery lists, budget lists, you name it I can make a list for it. The days seem to fly by and the nights are but a blink (sometimes literally if Kennedy doesn't sleep well). At the beginning of September I remember thinking that I had a birthday to celebrate, a large event at work to prepare for, numerous conference calls, and a month to prepare for two showers I am throwing for my baby sister. Now as I sit at my desk assessing my October planner I see that October is already full! Personal shower and kitchen and bath shower for Lacy, a good friends birthday, our 4 year anniversary, a baby shower, and multiple things at work. Having showers in Oklahoma means flying. I am nervous about flying with Kennedy, but luckily I have a wonderful husband that keeps me calm and sane(for the most part) and he will be accompanying us home to Oklahoma! I love being a mom and this past month Kennedy's personality has really started to show. She loves to smile and is starting to giggle. She loves to cuddle and is a really active sleeper.

Busy Busy Busy

Here is a typical day in the life!!

A quick side note, I don't actually know when my days end and begin anymore! Ever since Kennedy arrived on the scene my days, staring on July 12th, have been one constant movement. There has really been no end and no beginning. I guess that is why time flies so fast when you become a parent. Because "time" as you knew it before does not exist anymore!

I will start at the beginning (whatever the beginning really means)

3:00a.m-5:30 anytime between these hours my darling girl will stir and oh so gently request to be fed!

5:45-6:00- Shower

6:00-6:05 Quickly blow dry hair

6:05-6:10 Straighten hair
6:11 Put hair in ponytail ( questioning why I took the time to straighten my hair)
6:15-7:00 Eat breakfast and if I am lucky I get to do this sitting down and one complete act! Get Kennedy's stuff ready for school, pack lunch, pack breast pump.
7:00-7:30 Change diapers, give hugs and kisses to the baby and the husband and send them off.
7:32 Grab coffee and head to work.
8:00-4:00 Work, pump, watch Kennedy on the cameras at school, work, pump, etc.
4:00-4:25 Smile the whole way to Kennedy's school thinking about hugging her little body.
4:30 Bliss! Seeing my little girl, giving her kisses and hopefully getting a smile from her!
4:30-5:00 Drive home in crazy Las Vegas traffic.
5:00-5:30 Feed and love on my baby girl.
5:30-6:00 Start dinner and wait for hubby to get home.
6:00-8:00 Hang with the family, do dishes, clean up house, pack lunch for next day, and bath for baby girl if necessary.
8:00-8:30 Feed and put baby down.
8:30-1:00 (If I am lucky) Baby girl sleeps and so does mommy!

Then it starts all over again the next day, or next shift as I see it!

Well its 12:15 and that means its time for me to go pump. Trying to keep breast milk supplied while bringing home the bread for the family!!!

The Smell of Rain

When I woke up this morning I did so in a panic. I did not hear anything, it was quiet. I quickly looked next to the bed and did not see my daughter. Then I rolled over and did not see my husband. I then looked at the clock it read 8:45. My Darling Husband had changed Kennedy's diaper around 6:00 and had taken her downstairs so I could sleep in. That was a nice surprise and something I desperately needed. When I came downstairs I saw that it was overcast. This is not completely foreign to Las Vegas but something that doesn't happen very often. And when it does it rarely produces rain. But to my great surprise when I was running errands this morning I actually got sprinkled on! It was so nice. My fellow Las Vegans were running around trying to get out of the rain while I slowed my pace so I could enjoy the brief moments of cool rain. Don't get me wrong, I love the sun and for eight months of the year we have beautiful weather. But sometimes I enjoy a nice cloudy day, a day that allows me to be lazy and comfy at home with my family. Living in a place where it doesn't rain that often I treasure the moments when I can stop and feel the drops on my skin and smell the musty hints of humidity.

Sad Sad Day

Here are some pictures of my little ladybug! Today I am taking stuff to Kennedy's "School" to get her ready to go on Monday. I am calling it school, instead of daycare, because I like the way it sounds. Denial? Maybe but it makes me feel better. I am taking her diaper bag with all of her goodies and a mobile for her crib. It is very sad and I am having a VERY VERY HARD TIME coming to grips with the fact that on Monday morning at 8 a.m. I will have to leave my daughter in someone elses hands and trust them to care for her and love her until I can get her every day at 5:00. Its heartbreaking. I am prepared to cry like a baby, if you will, on Monday and probably every day following that week. These past six weeks have gone by way to quickly and I am trying to soak up every moment with her.

What to do? Help.

As I type this very post my darling husband is upstairs trying to quiet and soothe our 3 week old baby girl. The past couple of days it seems she has been plagued with gas. Therefore she will eat and then an hour later be inconsolable and hungry again because she has taken in to much air and not enough milk. I am still learning what her cries mean and how to meet her needs. It is so hard to hear her scream and cry and not be exactly sure how to make it better. Its exhausting and draining and heartbreaking. If any moms have any suggestions on how to make sure baby is getting a good latch and how to help with the gas issues I welcome the comments. We are using mylicon when we feed her but it doesn't seem to be helping much. Help!!!!