D Day!!!

Well tomorrow is the day that is supposed to be the day! Kennedy's due date is tomorrow. I really don't feel like she will coming out tomorrow. But part of me is okay with that. Last night I broke down and had a moment where I was totally freaked out by the whole birthing process. Not the pain, and not so much the birth but the afterbirth. I am terrified of bleeding to death or getting blood clots or something horrible like that. I know, and those who know me, I am a hypochondriac. I have convinced myself I have cancer for body parts I as a female don't have! I want to be a mom so bad. To do all the things for my daughter that I didn't get to do growing up with a single mom and two sisters. I want to cuddle and love my daughter to pieces. I want to see Aaron be the incredible dad I know he is going to be. I just have to calm myself down and relax. I just get really scared sometimes and its the whole unknown and uncontrollable parts that really send me for a loop. I just have to have faith and trust that everything will go smoothly. I just had a moment last night while I was eating burritos with my husband! Every morning I wake up and tell myself I am one day closer to having a completely different reality then today! I cant wait. I dream about little babies every night. I was watching 16 and pregnant the other day and started crying when this teenager (a baby herself) gave birth to a little girl. I just kept thinking that would be me very soon! So here is to a new mother freaking about birth, like thats never happend, and to a control freak learning to let go.