Busy Busy Busy

Here is a typical day in the life!!

A quick side note, I don't actually know when my days end and begin anymore! Ever since Kennedy arrived on the scene my days, staring on July 12th, have been one constant movement. There has really been no end and no beginning. I guess that is why time flies so fast when you become a parent. Because "time" as you knew it before does not exist anymore!

I will start at the beginning (whatever the beginning really means)

3:00a.m-5:30 anytime between these hours my darling girl will stir and oh so gently request to be fed!

5:45-6:00- Shower

6:00-6:05 Quickly blow dry hair

6:05-6:10 Straighten hair
6:11 Put hair in ponytail ( questioning why I took the time to straighten my hair)
6:15-7:00 Eat breakfast and if I am lucky I get to do this sitting down and one complete act! Get Kennedy's stuff ready for school, pack lunch, pack breast pump.
7:00-7:30 Change diapers, give hugs and kisses to the baby and the husband and send them off.
7:32 Grab coffee and head to work.
8:00-4:00 Work, pump, watch Kennedy on the cameras at school, work, pump, etc.
4:00-4:25 Smile the whole way to Kennedy's school thinking about hugging her little body.
4:30 Bliss! Seeing my little girl, giving her kisses and hopefully getting a smile from her!
4:30-5:00 Drive home in crazy Las Vegas traffic.
5:00-5:30 Feed and love on my baby girl.
5:30-6:00 Start dinner and wait for hubby to get home.
6:00-8:00 Hang with the family, do dishes, clean up house, pack lunch for next day, and bath for baby girl if necessary.
8:00-8:30 Feed and put baby down.
8:30-1:00 (If I am lucky) Baby girl sleeps and so does mommy!

Then it starts all over again the next day, or next shift as I see it!

Well its 12:15 and that means its time for me to go pump. Trying to keep breast milk supplied while bringing home the bread for the family!!!

The Smell of Rain

When I woke up this morning I did so in a panic. I did not hear anything, it was quiet. I quickly looked next to the bed and did not see my daughter. Then I rolled over and did not see my husband. I then looked at the clock it read 8:45. My Darling Husband had changed Kennedy's diaper around 6:00 and had taken her downstairs so I could sleep in. That was a nice surprise and something I desperately needed. When I came downstairs I saw that it was overcast. This is not completely foreign to Las Vegas but something that doesn't happen very often. And when it does it rarely produces rain. But to my great surprise when I was running errands this morning I actually got sprinkled on! It was so nice. My fellow Las Vegans were running around trying to get out of the rain while I slowed my pace so I could enjoy the brief moments of cool rain. Don't get me wrong, I love the sun and for eight months of the year we have beautiful weather. But sometimes I enjoy a nice cloudy day, a day that allows me to be lazy and comfy at home with my family. Living in a place where it doesn't rain that often I treasure the moments when I can stop and feel the drops on my skin and smell the musty hints of humidity.

Sad Sad Day

Here are some pictures of my little ladybug! Today I am taking stuff to Kennedy's "School" to get her ready to go on Monday. I am calling it school, instead of daycare, because I like the way it sounds. Denial? Maybe but it makes me feel better. I am taking her diaper bag with all of her goodies and a mobile for her crib. It is very sad and I am having a VERY VERY HARD TIME coming to grips with the fact that on Monday morning at 8 a.m. I will have to leave my daughter in someone elses hands and trust them to care for her and love her until I can get her every day at 5:00. Its heartbreaking. I am prepared to cry like a baby, if you will, on Monday and probably every day following that week. These past six weeks have gone by way to quickly and I am trying to soak up every moment with her.

What to do? Help.

As I type this very post my darling husband is upstairs trying to quiet and soothe our 3 week old baby girl. The past couple of days it seems she has been plagued with gas. Therefore she will eat and then an hour later be inconsolable and hungry again because she has taken in to much air and not enough milk. I am still learning what her cries mean and how to meet her needs. It is so hard to hear her scream and cry and not be exactly sure how to make it better. Its exhausting and draining and heartbreaking. If any moms have any suggestions on how to make sure baby is getting a good latch and how to help with the gas issues I welcome the comments. We are using mylicon when we feed her but it doesn't seem to be helping much. Help!!!!

Sheeesh!

That is the only appropriate word I can muster this morning to describe how I am feeling. This word is a two edged sword this morning. Sheesh being good in the fact that I fall more and more in love with my daughter every single second. I am captivated by her. Her tiny little features, her sneezes and noises, her precious face. And Sheesh being bad in the fact that this little girl will not sleep. She is a fighter that is for sure. She will be exhausted, plum tuckered out if you will, and she will still not sleep. For the past two nights I will feed her and then lay her down and no more than 10 minutes later she has kicked herself out of her swaddle and is squirming all over her crib. The only way she will get some sort of sleep is to sleep on mine or Aaron's chest. Great for her, uncomfortable at best for us. I think last night she slept all of two hours in her crib. But earlier this week she was sleeping for four and five hours straight at night. Now we are lucky to get two uninterrupted hours. As I type right now she is in her swing and I have my ipod playing some fun music so I can sing to her. But she is getting fussy now. When she eventually naps maybe I can post some pictures. Here's hoping!

Kennedy Grace Krueger

Kennedy Grace Krueger was born July 12th at 3:20 in the afternoon. She was 8lbs and 20 inches long. She is perfect and gorgeous and I am completely in love with this little lady. I went to the hospital Sunday morning around 2:30 because my contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes. When we got there they put me in triage for an hour to monitor the baby and make sure I could be admitted to delivery. I was taken to my delivery room around 4. I was given the epidural around 5 and my water broke at 5:20. I was able to rest until around 12:00. I pushed for 3 hours and finally she was born. We stayed two nights in the hospital. We got home on Tuesday afternoon and have been adjusting to life with a newborn ever since. My mom arrived Wednesday morning and has been a huge help. Being a new mom is overwhelming and tiring and rewarding and the most incredible thing all wrapped into one big cute bundle of love. Here are some photos.

D Day!!!

Well tomorrow is the day that is supposed to be the day! Kennedy's due date is tomorrow. I really don't feel like she will coming out tomorrow. But part of me is okay with that. Last night I broke down and had a moment where I was totally freaked out by the whole birthing process. Not the pain, and not so much the birth but the afterbirth. I am terrified of bleeding to death or getting blood clots or something horrible like that. I know, and those who know me, I am a hypochondriac. I have convinced myself I have cancer for body parts I as a female don't have! I want to be a mom so bad. To do all the things for my daughter that I didn't get to do growing up with a single mom and two sisters. I want to cuddle and love my daughter to pieces. I want to see Aaron be the incredible dad I know he is going to be. I just have to calm myself down and relax. I just get really scared sometimes and its the whole unknown and uncontrollable parts that really send me for a loop. I just have to have faith and trust that everything will go smoothly. I just had a moment last night while I was eating burritos with my husband! Every morning I wake up and tell myself I am one day closer to having a completely different reality then today! I cant wait. I dream about little babies every night. I was watching 16 and pregnant the other day and started crying when this teenager (a baby herself) gave birth to a little girl. I just kept thinking that would be me very soon! So here is to a new mother freaking about birth, like thats never happend, and to a control freak learning to let go.