Sheeesh!

That is the only appropriate word I can muster this morning to describe how I am feeling. This word is a two edged sword this morning. Sheesh being good in the fact that I fall more and more in love with my daughter every single second. I am captivated by her. Her tiny little features, her sneezes and noises, her precious face. And Sheesh being bad in the fact that this little girl will not sleep. She is a fighter that is for sure. She will be exhausted, plum tuckered out if you will, and she will still not sleep. For the past two nights I will feed her and then lay her down and no more than 10 minutes later she has kicked herself out of her swaddle and is squirming all over her crib. The only way she will get some sort of sleep is to sleep on mine or Aaron's chest. Great for her, uncomfortable at best for us. I think last night she slept all of two hours in her crib. But earlier this week she was sleeping for four and five hours straight at night. Now we are lucky to get two uninterrupted hours. As I type right now she is in her swing and I have my ipod playing some fun music so I can sing to her. But she is getting fussy now. When she eventually naps maybe I can post some pictures. Here's hoping!

Kennedy Grace Krueger

Kennedy Grace Krueger was born July 12th at 3:20 in the afternoon. She was 8lbs and 20 inches long. She is perfect and gorgeous and I am completely in love with this little lady. I went to the hospital Sunday morning around 2:30 because my contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes. When we got there they put me in triage for an hour to monitor the baby and make sure I could be admitted to delivery. I was taken to my delivery room around 4. I was given the epidural around 5 and my water broke at 5:20. I was able to rest until around 12:00. I pushed for 3 hours and finally she was born. We stayed two nights in the hospital. We got home on Tuesday afternoon and have been adjusting to life with a newborn ever since. My mom arrived Wednesday morning and has been a huge help. Being a new mom is overwhelming and tiring and rewarding and the most incredible thing all wrapped into one big cute bundle of love. Here are some photos.

D Day!!!

Well tomorrow is the day that is supposed to be the day! Kennedy's due date is tomorrow. I really don't feel like she will coming out tomorrow. But part of me is okay with that. Last night I broke down and had a moment where I was totally freaked out by the whole birthing process. Not the pain, and not so much the birth but the afterbirth. I am terrified of bleeding to death or getting blood clots or something horrible like that. I know, and those who know me, I am a hypochondriac. I have convinced myself I have cancer for body parts I as a female don't have! I want to be a mom so bad. To do all the things for my daughter that I didn't get to do growing up with a single mom and two sisters. I want to cuddle and love my daughter to pieces. I want to see Aaron be the incredible dad I know he is going to be. I just have to calm myself down and relax. I just get really scared sometimes and its the whole unknown and uncontrollable parts that really send me for a loop. I just have to have faith and trust that everything will go smoothly. I just had a moment last night while I was eating burritos with my husband! Every morning I wake up and tell myself I am one day closer to having a completely different reality then today! I cant wait. I dream about little babies every night. I was watching 16 and pregnant the other day and started crying when this teenager (a baby herself) gave birth to a little girl. I just kept thinking that would be me very soon! So here is to a new mother freaking about birth, like thats never happend, and to a control freak learning to let go.

3 Days and Counting

If you would have asked me earlier today I would have told you I was going to be a millionaire. I was going to be on the cover of every magazine, including the trashy ones we are read secretly in the grocery store line! Because I would have sworn this child was never coming out. Last week she was very stubborn at the doctors office. She is already taking after me! Scary. But today the doctor said I am progressing nicely and that if I have not had her by next Wednesday she will induce me that evening. That works out great because my mother comes in Wednesday morning. Being induced is not ideal but at least my mom will be here for her birth! So good news, this baby is gonna come out. Bad news, I am still really uncomfortable. I woke up twice last night and had to chew some tums due to the horrible heart burn. Then every other hour I woke up and had to readjust which led to me having to pee. Ohh the joys of pregnancy. I really have enjoyed my pregnancy up until these last three weeks. But I am now officially ready for her to get here! Even if it hurts, which I know it will! Here are some photos. Some were taken of me last Friday at 39 weeks and the others (red dress) were of my on the 4th of July, hoping for a firecracker baby!

4 Days and Counting!

Well Kennedy's due date is 4 days away! She is not showing any signs that she is coming out anytime soon. She is very comfortable in her Mommy's belly right now. She is still sitting very high and is still moving around alot. Last week at the doctors appointment the doctor had to chase her around my belly to get a heart beat. She is a mover and shaker! I have some photos of my belly and her nursery that I promise to post asap. I have been continuing to nest. Cleaning out the garage in 105 degree heat on Saturday! Making casseroles to freeze for after she arrives, and making sure I have my bag and Aaron's bag packed for the hospital! I am so anxious to meet her and see what she looks like. My mom arrives next Wednesday and a part of me hopes she is here for the birth but another part of me hopes I don't have to wait that long! Pics to be posted soon.

30 years young and facing reality.

Yesterday was my darling husbands 30th birthday! He is such a wonderful person and he does not like alot of attention being drawn to himself. Last weekend when his parents were in town we celebrated with some good friends. But last night he just wanted to watch a movie and eat pizza and cuddle. But before he got home I went to the store and bought a mini-birthday cake and lit some candles and scattered some 30 confetti all over our table. I just wanted to do something special but small. For his birthday my whole family pitched in and today we are going to go pick out a video camera. But I already promised my mother she will not have to sit through a replay of the birth! The camera is for after the birth when Kennedy is clean and out of my belly completely!!!!

On Thursday I received an email at work. It was letting everyone know in our division, the 12 most western states excluding Hawaii and California, that there will be layoffs this coming Tuesday. So on Tuesday morning they are asking everyone to stay home and if you have lost your job you will receive a phone call letting you know. I feel that my job is safe, mainly because I run programs and work directly with patients and volunteers. But you never know! So when I got this news of course I started to worry. I am about to have a baby and things would be a lot more complicated and stressful if I did not have a job. So I texted my mom and asked her how much extra room she had at her house because she might have 3 extra roommates really soon! I know its out of my hands and honestly if I lost my job it would be a blessing in disguise because it would mean that we could get closer to home a lot sooner. We have been talking about moving back within the next 18 months. We are not set on moving back to Oklahoma, we wouldn't mind Texas, Colorado, Missouri, or even Tennessee. But that is completely out of our hands. Its not that Vegas is a horrible place to live. We are so close to California and Utah and so many cool things you have to drive hours to access in Oklahoma. The weather is perfect, even now in June. We live ina beautiful home and we have made some really great friends. But there is NO sense of community here. There are small pockets but they are so spotty they are almost impossible to find. People come to Vegas to strike it rich or to play. People dont come to Vegas to raise families and meet lots of great people. And we both miss our families so much. I am so close to my mom and sisters and I want Kennedy to know her Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. Its just not the place for us to raise a family. But I will say it has been the best thing for Aaron and I's marriage. We have grown and challenged and stretched more than we would have it we would have stayed where it was "comfortable" in Oklahoma.

I know this is a long post but this past week has been pretty busy. I am know 38 weeks pregnant and counting and I will have Aaron take some pictures today and I will post some of my belly. I am sure it seems like baby stuff is all I write about so it was nice to be able to focus on something else. Because there will be lots of baby stuff after she is born!

Nesting, baking and loving!!

Aaron and I are going to purchase a small freezer to go in our garage mainly because our freezer is tiny. But with the new addition shortly on her way we want to make sure we have enough room for all things that come with having a baby and being on maternity leave. Next weekend is our true and final free weekend before Kennedy arrives, we will do something on the 4th if she is not here by then. And I want to spend the weekend making yummy casseroles, breads and goodies to freeze so when she arrives I don't have to stress about meals. Soooo, would you please post your favorite recipes for breads, casseroles or dishes that would freeze well so I can make them!!! I love to try new and fun recipes so I am open for anything!!!

I am 37 weeks today and I cant wait. I am so ready for this little girl to be here so I can love on her and kiss her and snuggle with her. And as Fathers Day approaches I just keep thinking how great Aaron is going to be as a dad. Most of you know I didn't have a father around growing up and I missed out on alot but this little lady will have the best dad in the world! I will post pics of Aaron's father-to-be gift. Its a good one!